I ran across this article in the Star Tribune today about a preacher from a Community Church from Warrod. He was very clear about which candidate he was endorsing and even preached from his pulpit why the congregation should vote for this particular candidate in the upcoming presidential election. The article itself poses an interesting question: if we start campaigning for candidates from the pulpit should the church and the pastor lose its tax-exempt status? I'd suggest taking a look at some of the comments and checking out the related poll. It's always good to get a read on the world at large.
It is interesting being a rookie pastor and having our first year in the parish also include a(nother) very heated presidential race. I've talked about the election from the pulpit already this year but not to tell people who to vote for. I never even mentioned the candidates by name, I instead talked about the division elections like these (and the ones in 2000 and 2004) can cause in the world, church, and even seminary. I like to think I was not crossing a line there but where exactly is the line?
I remember four years ago at the 2004 election hearing a story about some reporters from a major newspaper who went to a major benefit concert where it was very clear that all the proceeds from the concert were going to the Democratic Presidential fund. They were subsequently fired for this because there were clauses written into their contracts that they were not supposed to show public support for one candidate or another. Though I doubt a congregation would be this harsh on us, are we somewhat under the same type of unwritten contract? We will all eventually choose someone to vote for and go ahead and vote on election Tuesday but do we make our vote public to the church? Should we have bumper sticker or pins or shirts that show our endorsement for a certain candidate? If people in our church ask us who we're voting for do we tell them? But then again, does this mean we hide behind a rock? Does this mean we shouldn't caucus (because then it's very clear which side we're batting for and we could run into congregation members there) or shouldn't go to rallies where we get a chance to hear the candidates in person?
Granted I know for some people it will be more obvious to the congregation where we fall on the political spectrum and certain churches will tend to attract a more conservative or liberal pastor depending on their congregational make-up. But that does not necessarily give us the right to endorse someone or be really blatant about who we're voting for or does it?
I'm not looking for cut and dry solutions here, I'm just curious about other people's take on it. I personally would never endorse a candidate in the pulpit of course (I don't really tell that many people who I vote for anyway) but I will gladly tell people to do their civic duty and get out there and vote.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
TRUTH
Alright, I'll be honest. This word can be a bit scary to me. Right now I'm working on my first talk for Alpha and the topic is Christianity: Boring, Untrue, and Irrelevant? so I get to talk about why there are perceptions that Christianity is boring, untrue, and irrelevant (and it's surprisingly easy) and then I get to flip it and talk about why Christianity is actually exciting, true, and relevant. The first and last point are easy for me. After all, with The Source this past year I've been working hard to break these perceptions by using unique types of worship and preaching and music and such. However, the "true" part is another matter altogether.
One thing I've learned about my generation, those right between Gen X and Gen Y (and including both) is that we tend to live in a much more pluralistic world where multiple truths are accepted and declaring one, overarching, and ultimate truth is looked down upon. I mean, how can you really point something as true when we all have our different views of what truth is. What I see and experience as truth in my life might be completely different than yours. I'm reminded of Star Wars, where Obi-Wan Kenobi tells Luke he didn't lie about his father, he still told the truth, from a different point of view. It seems like that point, as ridiculous as it may have sounded back then, more appealing and used more often.
We all experience different truths in our lives. So, how does Christianity, how does God, how does Jesus speak to all of our different experiences of truth? And how in the world can I speak to that in this class as I look to tell people that Christianity is the truth? After all, Jesus declaring "I am the way, the truth, and the life" isn't exactly the most friendly, inclusive quote there is.
And the funny thing is that I do think Christianity is true and that Jesus is the truth which means this shouldn't be this hard. It just means that it's tricky. Truth is a loaded word and I don't want to use it lightly. So, what is truth? Why is Jesus the truth? Why is Christianity true? Ultimately we need to decide for ourselves what we believe is true. I can tell you what I think is true and you have the make the decision yourself, knowing that my notion of truth might be different from yours. My way of experiencing what is true is different than your experience.
Alright, that's enough rambling. Back to writing the lesson plan. If you have any insight, please let me know!
One thing I've learned about my generation, those right between Gen X and Gen Y (and including both) is that we tend to live in a much more pluralistic world where multiple truths are accepted and declaring one, overarching, and ultimate truth is looked down upon. I mean, how can you really point something as true when we all have our different views of what truth is. What I see and experience as truth in my life might be completely different than yours. I'm reminded of Star Wars, where Obi-Wan Kenobi tells Luke he didn't lie about his father, he still told the truth, from a different point of view. It seems like that point, as ridiculous as it may have sounded back then, more appealing and used more often.
We all experience different truths in our lives. So, how does Christianity, how does God, how does Jesus speak to all of our different experiences of truth? And how in the world can I speak to that in this class as I look to tell people that Christianity is the truth? After all, Jesus declaring "I am the way, the truth, and the life" isn't exactly the most friendly, inclusive quote there is.
And the funny thing is that I do think Christianity is true and that Jesus is the truth which means this shouldn't be this hard. It just means that it's tricky. Truth is a loaded word and I don't want to use it lightly. So, what is truth? Why is Jesus the truth? Why is Christianity true? Ultimately we need to decide for ourselves what we believe is true. I can tell you what I think is true and you have the make the decision yourself, knowing that my notion of truth might be different from yours. My way of experiencing what is true is different than your experience.
Alright, that's enough rambling. Back to writing the lesson plan. If you have any insight, please let me know!
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Living an Unexpected Life
Dear readers I apologize for the lack of communication over the past month or so. It has been a whirlwind of activity, change, chance, prayers, and surprises. I find myself living a very different life today than I thought I'd be living at graduation or even a year ago. I never thought I'd still be in the Twin Cities doing ministry, would have a call lined up to a large church in the cities, or be working specifically with small group ministry. It's funny how things can change so quickly.
First of all, I am now living in the southern metro area, the southern suburbs. I spent pretty much my entire MN life living in the northern suburbs which was a great area. And there was always this mentality that the southern suburbs were more afluent and a common term to describe our southern counterparts were "cake-eaters." I'm not quite sure who started this term or how it's used outside of the cities but it's there. It was definitely used as a pejorative term one way or another. I suppose we northern suburbanites prided ourselves in not having all the money and affluence that the southern kids did and still were able to have good schools, good sports programs, good music programs, and a good life without as much money (and the northern suburbs were still very middle class which, considering everything else, could be considered being rich). But, this is the mentality and the system I was used to. And now I find myself as one of those people I made fun of back then, I am now a cake-eater. I now have a very nice apartment in Eden Prairie and it's kinda funny and kinda weird. But, this was where God called and here I am I guess. :)
But, above all, I would never complain. I am so grateful for this opportunity to finally do what it is that God has been calling me to do. Granted, the call is very unexpected in itself. I had always claimed I would be a youth pastor and tacked on young adult pastor in the past couple of years. Instead of doing that, I'm working with small groups, a bit of adult education, and alternative worship. But it's funny, it seems like my past years in ministry through internship, through my experiences with other churches, has really led me to the position and had been truly training me for this. I know I have a ton to learn but I also know through my experiences that I have the qualifications needed to start.
Anyway, a quick rundown of all that's happened:
-Voted on August 6 by the congregation to be called
-Moved to Eden Prairie August 15
-Started new job on August 18
-Ordained and installed on September 7
-Preached my first semon on September 14
I know I have a lot to learn and I look forward to learning and growing and sharing with you readers all these crazy experiences! Thanks again and I promise to be more diligent in my posting!
First of all, I am now living in the southern metro area, the southern suburbs. I spent pretty much my entire MN life living in the northern suburbs which was a great area. And there was always this mentality that the southern suburbs were more afluent and a common term to describe our southern counterparts were "cake-eaters." I'm not quite sure who started this term or how it's used outside of the cities but it's there. It was definitely used as a pejorative term one way or another. I suppose we northern suburbanites prided ourselves in not having all the money and affluence that the southern kids did and still were able to have good schools, good sports programs, good music programs, and a good life without as much money (and the northern suburbs were still very middle class which, considering everything else, could be considered being rich). But, this is the mentality and the system I was used to. And now I find myself as one of those people I made fun of back then, I am now a cake-eater. I now have a very nice apartment in Eden Prairie and it's kinda funny and kinda weird. But, this was where God called and here I am I guess. :)
But, above all, I would never complain. I am so grateful for this opportunity to finally do what it is that God has been calling me to do. Granted, the call is very unexpected in itself. I had always claimed I would be a youth pastor and tacked on young adult pastor in the past couple of years. Instead of doing that, I'm working with small groups, a bit of adult education, and alternative worship. But it's funny, it seems like my past years in ministry through internship, through my experiences with other churches, has really led me to the position and had been truly training me for this. I know I have a ton to learn but I also know through my experiences that I have the qualifications needed to start.
Anyway, a quick rundown of all that's happened:
-Voted on August 6 by the congregation to be called
-Moved to Eden Prairie August 15
-Started new job on August 18
-Ordained and installed on September 7
-Preached my first semon on September 14
I know I have a lot to learn and I look forward to learning and growing and sharing with you readers all these crazy experiences! Thanks again and I promise to be more diligent in my posting!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
When It Rains...
It's been quite a week! In the past week this is what's happened:
-Congregational vote at St. Andrew Lutheran Church in Eden Prairie. I went, greeted people, gave a devotional, talked about myself and my call, and then left to await the result of the vote. I got the call 45 minutes later. The verdict: 60-2 to call me as an associate pastor of small group ministry and LiveWire (their alternative/contemporary worship service). I have a call! Needless to say, I was elated and I think I talked about 20 miles a minute for the rest of the night (I went out to eat with my parents and boyfriend after the vote).
-Road trip the Colorado Springs for my boyfriend's cousin's wedding. And somewhere in there someone decided that it would be a good idea to drive through the night. I usually don't sleep well in cars but I found out the tylenol p.m. is my friend. Had a great time at the wedding, got poured on before the service, enjoyed the beautiful mountain views and the beautiful wedding, and had a great time hanging out with my boyfriend's family.
-Got my first speeding ticket! It was in Nebraska literally right after I pulled off of the ramp onto the interstate. I was the follow car and the other car had jetted ahead so I had to try and play catch up. Plus, the lead car insisted on going 85 in a 75 which I was not happy about the in the first place. And of course, it's me that gets pulled over. To top it off, the cop was a prick about it and did a really bad job. Take for example I was driving my friend's car and it was obviously not registered to me. However, he doesn't even ask about the fact that it's not registered to me. Add to that, I go to push the flashers button right when I get pulled over and the button literally falls into the dash. The flashers are going and we have no way to turn it off. Needless to say, this isn't very safe and we tell the police officer what happens. He gives me the ticket, goes back to his car, and then yells at us to start driving over his bullhorn. So, we have no choice but to get on the road with our flashers going. We catch up with the lead car at a shady motel and work on getting the flasher problem fixed. It doesn't happen. However, two of the guys have a friend in Omaha that they were planning on stopping to say hi to anyway who happens to be good with fixing cars so he can take apart the dashboard. Our solution in the meantime = remove the fuse that is connected with the flashers. The good news: the flashers have stopped. The bad news: I can't use the turn signals. The solution? Use hand signals when making a lane change or turn. So, for the next hour I roll down my window every time I want to make a lane change and stick my arm out. Honestly, it was pretty entertaining. The car did get fixed and everyone chipped in for the ticket and people are pretty sure it shouldn't affect my insurance. We shall see...
On the ticket for this week:
-Move into my new office (I have a nameplate already!)
-Move into my new apartment
-Finish up at my job for the past year at the Student Services Office
-Finish TA's a class on Galatians and Philippians
-Finish packing (maybe...)
-Congregational vote at St. Andrew Lutheran Church in Eden Prairie. I went, greeted people, gave a devotional, talked about myself and my call, and then left to await the result of the vote. I got the call 45 minutes later. The verdict: 60-2 to call me as an associate pastor of small group ministry and LiveWire (their alternative/contemporary worship service). I have a call! Needless to say, I was elated and I think I talked about 20 miles a minute for the rest of the night (I went out to eat with my parents and boyfriend after the vote).
-Road trip the Colorado Springs for my boyfriend's cousin's wedding. And somewhere in there someone decided that it would be a good idea to drive through the night. I usually don't sleep well in cars but I found out the tylenol p.m. is my friend. Had a great time at the wedding, got poured on before the service, enjoyed the beautiful mountain views and the beautiful wedding, and had a great time hanging out with my boyfriend's family.
-Got my first speeding ticket! It was in Nebraska literally right after I pulled off of the ramp onto the interstate. I was the follow car and the other car had jetted ahead so I had to try and play catch up. Plus, the lead car insisted on going 85 in a 75 which I was not happy about the in the first place. And of course, it's me that gets pulled over. To top it off, the cop was a prick about it and did a really bad job. Take for example I was driving my friend's car and it was obviously not registered to me. However, he doesn't even ask about the fact that it's not registered to me. Add to that, I go to push the flashers button right when I get pulled over and the button literally falls into the dash. The flashers are going and we have no way to turn it off. Needless to say, this isn't very safe and we tell the police officer what happens. He gives me the ticket, goes back to his car, and then yells at us to start driving over his bullhorn. So, we have no choice but to get on the road with our flashers going. We catch up with the lead car at a shady motel and work on getting the flasher problem fixed. It doesn't happen. However, two of the guys have a friend in Omaha that they were planning on stopping to say hi to anyway who happens to be good with fixing cars so he can take apart the dashboard. Our solution in the meantime = remove the fuse that is connected with the flashers. The good news: the flashers have stopped. The bad news: I can't use the turn signals. The solution? Use hand signals when making a lane change or turn. So, for the next hour I roll down my window every time I want to make a lane change and stick my arm out. Honestly, it was pretty entertaining. The car did get fixed and everyone chipped in for the ticket and people are pretty sure it shouldn't affect my insurance. We shall see...
On the ticket for this week:
-Move into my new office (I have a nameplate already!)
-Move into my new apartment
-Finish up at my job for the past year at the Student Services Office
-Finish TA's a class on Galatians and Philippians
-Finish packing (maybe...)
Thursday, July 31, 2008
"I Don't Go to Church"
This is the title of the first sermon series for The Source. Those of us on the launch team were asked to come up with perceived problems with the church. What are people's common critiques of the church? What are your critiques of the church? Why do you think people don't go to church? What is out there that gives the church a bad name? I must say, as a regular churchgoer, I had more fun with this than I should have. Here was my response in a nutshell.
1. I hate it when churches differentiate between who's in church or going to church and those who are not. Whether they label it as churchgoers and non-churchgoers, Christians and "real" Christians (if you really want to make me mad, start using that dichotomy), us and them, there's always that versus quality to it and also a snobby and country club feel to that language. We're so much better people because we go to a church. We're better people because we believe in God and the rest of the people are scum. Somewhere in there we've lost sight of the fact that we're all sinners and fall short (Romans) and that we're still fully sinners (simul iusuts et peccator or we're fully sinner and saint as Christians). Just because we're Christians doesn't make us any better than anyone else or any less suceptible to sin (see various church scandals, some of which I have experienced first hand at my home congregation). And yet, that judgment is still there. Judgment because of apperances. Judgment because of lifestyle choices. Judgment because of social status. Judgment because of jobs, etc. Apparently people just like to ignore verse about judge not lest ye be judged...
2. I hate when people make sacred cows out of things that are not sacred. The first commandment is we shall not have any other gods and the second is we shall not make idols. However, it seems that we have made sacred cows or idols out of things such as worship styles, reading creeds a certain way, using certain liturgies, bulletins, music styles, etc. "It's not real church if we aren't doing _____." It's not real church if we aren't using an organ. It's not Lutheran if we aren't using the Red Book, the LBW, or the ELW (various worship books we've used as a church to help us lead worship at churches). Yes, tradition is important but when tradition starts becoming a bigger deal than God, well, then we have a major problem. And I especially hate it when just because someplace is doing church a bit differently be it because of worship styles, songs, elements of the service, etc. others don't consider it real church. I'm sorry but that's BS! Even the Lutheran Confessions (theological principles that we as Lutheran adhere to) are on our side ("Church is wherever the Word is rightly preached and the sacraments are properly administered").
3. The church also is bad at using people as they are. The church expects people to fit into certain molds. They come up with volunteer positions and then try to find the people and make them fit into the roles rather than first meeting the people and then figuring out what best fits them and how to best use their unique gifts and talents. It's like writing a job description for a very specific and important position for a person you've never met and yet you expect it to fit perfectly. People are diverse and have diverse gifts and the church isn't necessarily good at respecting taht and best utilizing people's gifts.
4. Along with that same vein is the issue of clericalism: the expectation that people in charge whether it's the staff and the pastors especially are supposed to do everything. And the worse thing is, there are a lot of pastors out there who like it that way and encourage this! The pastors believe they're supposed to be doing it all and they have little or not respect for other people's gifts or ideas. The pastors aren't suppose to be the only ones running the church and reaching out into the world. We're all in this together and we all have gifts that can and need to be used.
So, those are some of my complaints and my reasons if I weren't already a churchgoer/pastor-to-be that I wouldn't go to church and/or reasons I find church very frustrating. If you have any more to add or you want to react to something, just make a comment!
1. I hate it when churches differentiate between who's in church or going to church and those who are not. Whether they label it as churchgoers and non-churchgoers, Christians and "real" Christians (if you really want to make me mad, start using that dichotomy), us and them, there's always that versus quality to it and also a snobby and country club feel to that language. We're so much better people because we go to a church. We're better people because we believe in God and the rest of the people are scum. Somewhere in there we've lost sight of the fact that we're all sinners and fall short (Romans) and that we're still fully sinners (simul iusuts et peccator or we're fully sinner and saint as Christians). Just because we're Christians doesn't make us any better than anyone else or any less suceptible to sin (see various church scandals, some of which I have experienced first hand at my home congregation). And yet, that judgment is still there. Judgment because of apperances. Judgment because of lifestyle choices. Judgment because of social status. Judgment because of jobs, etc. Apparently people just like to ignore verse about judge not lest ye be judged...
2. I hate when people make sacred cows out of things that are not sacred. The first commandment is we shall not have any other gods and the second is we shall not make idols. However, it seems that we have made sacred cows or idols out of things such as worship styles, reading creeds a certain way, using certain liturgies, bulletins, music styles, etc. "It's not real church if we aren't doing _____." It's not real church if we aren't using an organ. It's not Lutheran if we aren't using the Red Book, the LBW, or the ELW (various worship books we've used as a church to help us lead worship at churches). Yes, tradition is important but when tradition starts becoming a bigger deal than God, well, then we have a major problem. And I especially hate it when just because someplace is doing church a bit differently be it because of worship styles, songs, elements of the service, etc. others don't consider it real church. I'm sorry but that's BS! Even the Lutheran Confessions (theological principles that we as Lutheran adhere to) are on our side ("Church is wherever the Word is rightly preached and the sacraments are properly administered").
3. The church also is bad at using people as they are. The church expects people to fit into certain molds. They come up with volunteer positions and then try to find the people and make them fit into the roles rather than first meeting the people and then figuring out what best fits them and how to best use their unique gifts and talents. It's like writing a job description for a very specific and important position for a person you've never met and yet you expect it to fit perfectly. People are diverse and have diverse gifts and the church isn't necessarily good at respecting taht and best utilizing people's gifts.
4. Along with that same vein is the issue of clericalism: the expectation that people in charge whether it's the staff and the pastors especially are supposed to do everything. And the worse thing is, there are a lot of pastors out there who like it that way and encourage this! The pastors believe they're supposed to be doing it all and they have little or not respect for other people's gifts or ideas. The pastors aren't suppose to be the only ones running the church and reaching out into the world. We're all in this together and we all have gifts that can and need to be used.
So, those are some of my complaints and my reasons if I weren't already a churchgoer/pastor-to-be that I wouldn't go to church and/or reasons I find church very frustrating. If you have any more to add or you want to react to something, just make a comment!
Friday, July 18, 2008
Commitment
Last year, while I was pondering job options I got this advice from a friend, teacher, and mentor: "guard your heart." In other words, don't get too attached to the idea of taking a call here in order to make sure you don't get hurt. Don't commit because it might end up breaking your heart.
Not surprisingly, this wasn't hard for me to do. I have always been a bit jittery about commitment whether it's not getting my hopes up with jobs, relationships, and life and general. I don't like to count my chickens before they hatch in other words.
And yet, there is something to be said about taking the plunge, about giving your heart to a cause, a place, or a person. Yes, it is dangerous because you can end up getting hurt in the end if something doesn't go through, if someone doesn't reciprocate, if you're counting on something only to be let down. But at the same time, I always wonder how much we can really go forward while still guarding your heart, while still holding something back.
In order for any relationship whether it be friendship or relationship with a significant other to work, you need some sort of vulnerability. It requires commitment. And I've found the same as I've search for jobs this past year. I lost one potential call because I was guarding my heart. I didn't want to fully commit because there was a chance that I wouldn't get what I ultimately striving for and it cost me. Sure, I had everything to gain by getting placed in NC but I also had everything to lose if I committed to NC and then never got the job. I wasn't ready to put my heart and life on the line and because of that, I didn't get placed there.
Instead, months later I still found myself waiting for something to come and it did in the form of a church in the area. I prayed, negotiated with the synod, and got my name put through as a candidate. And it was scary because it was already May, most of my good friends had calls already (and deservedly so!), and my student loans were going to come due in July. And this time I knew there was no holding back. I put my all into interviewing, into preparing, into researching the congregation, and found a place that I could easily see myself calling home. But with each subsequent round came another chance for me to lose something. Each new round gave them a chance to reject me, turn me down, and spit me out into the world again, back where I started with no job and a lot of stress. And yet, even though I knew that I could get crushed so easily, there was no holding back. Each round I got more attached to the idea of me at this church. Each round I found myself plotting out in detail my first six months in the congregation. Each round I found myself more vulnerable to being so close to the job and also so close to heartbreak. And yet, in spite of all of this I found myself in a new place. I was finally ready to commit.
Yes, it was scary. I warned my friends that if I didn't get this job I would probably be a mess for at least a week. I tried to come up with a Plan B but my heart was never really into it. I prayed, A LOT. I let my guard down truly trusting that God could clean up this mess and mend my heart if it came down to that. Because even though we do not live in a faithful society, I believe in a God that is faithful in spite of everything. Yes, I will take the plunge, I will commit, I will take my guard down because I need to. This world calls for it in order for relationships to form, for there to be friendships, for there to be that true vulnerability that fosters trust but yes, we will and I'm guessing most of us have been let down. But we also have a God who promises to pick up the pieces and put us back together again and make us whole in the truest sense. And we have a God that is fully committed to us, even though we let God down and break God's heart time and time again.
But the great thing with committing is the reward will often outweigh the risks. Friendships are strengthened, relationships are deepened, and people get to know and love you for who you really are. And in my case, as I went CALL OR BUST I finally found the former. On August 6 a church in the Twin Cities metro area will vote to call me as their Pastor of Small Group Ministry and LiveWire (their alternative/contemporary worship service). It's not necessarily written in stone yet but I'm willing to commit before the chickens hatch in this case. And I hope to bring this same vulnerability to the call. I hope to be able to give my heart to this congregation, this position, this ministry, these people, and this amazing call from God. And even if they don't love me back at times (and I'm sure there will be struggles going the other way too), I will still do my best to stay committed because they were willing to take the chance on this pastor wannabe in the first place.
Not surprisingly, this wasn't hard for me to do. I have always been a bit jittery about commitment whether it's not getting my hopes up with jobs, relationships, and life and general. I don't like to count my chickens before they hatch in other words.
And yet, there is something to be said about taking the plunge, about giving your heart to a cause, a place, or a person. Yes, it is dangerous because you can end up getting hurt in the end if something doesn't go through, if someone doesn't reciprocate, if you're counting on something only to be let down. But at the same time, I always wonder how much we can really go forward while still guarding your heart, while still holding something back.
In order for any relationship whether it be friendship or relationship with a significant other to work, you need some sort of vulnerability. It requires commitment. And I've found the same as I've search for jobs this past year. I lost one potential call because I was guarding my heart. I didn't want to fully commit because there was a chance that I wouldn't get what I ultimately striving for and it cost me. Sure, I had everything to gain by getting placed in NC but I also had everything to lose if I committed to NC and then never got the job. I wasn't ready to put my heart and life on the line and because of that, I didn't get placed there.
Instead, months later I still found myself waiting for something to come and it did in the form of a church in the area. I prayed, negotiated with the synod, and got my name put through as a candidate. And it was scary because it was already May, most of my good friends had calls already (and deservedly so!), and my student loans were going to come due in July. And this time I knew there was no holding back. I put my all into interviewing, into preparing, into researching the congregation, and found a place that I could easily see myself calling home. But with each subsequent round came another chance for me to lose something. Each new round gave them a chance to reject me, turn me down, and spit me out into the world again, back where I started with no job and a lot of stress. And yet, even though I knew that I could get crushed so easily, there was no holding back. Each round I got more attached to the idea of me at this church. Each round I found myself plotting out in detail my first six months in the congregation. Each round I found myself more vulnerable to being so close to the job and also so close to heartbreak. And yet, in spite of all of this I found myself in a new place. I was finally ready to commit.
Yes, it was scary. I warned my friends that if I didn't get this job I would probably be a mess for at least a week. I tried to come up with a Plan B but my heart was never really into it. I prayed, A LOT. I let my guard down truly trusting that God could clean up this mess and mend my heart if it came down to that. Because even though we do not live in a faithful society, I believe in a God that is faithful in spite of everything. Yes, I will take the plunge, I will commit, I will take my guard down because I need to. This world calls for it in order for relationships to form, for there to be friendships, for there to be that true vulnerability that fosters trust but yes, we will and I'm guessing most of us have been let down. But we also have a God who promises to pick up the pieces and put us back together again and make us whole in the truest sense. And we have a God that is fully committed to us, even though we let God down and break God's heart time and time again.
But the great thing with committing is the reward will often outweigh the risks. Friendships are strengthened, relationships are deepened, and people get to know and love you for who you really are. And in my case, as I went CALL OR BUST I finally found the former. On August 6 a church in the Twin Cities metro area will vote to call me as their Pastor of Small Group Ministry and LiveWire (their alternative/contemporary worship service). It's not necessarily written in stone yet but I'm willing to commit before the chickens hatch in this case. And I hope to bring this same vulnerability to the call. I hope to be able to give my heart to this congregation, this position, this ministry, these people, and this amazing call from God. And even if they don't love me back at times (and I'm sure there will be struggles going the other way too), I will still do my best to stay committed because they were willing to take the chance on this pastor wannabe in the first place.
Monday, July 07, 2008
The Death of the Midnight Movie Showing
I love movies. I think this has probably come across in some of my previous blog entries. And because I love movies, I also happen to love midnight showings. Midnight showings happen when a new, big, potential blockbuster is coming out. They have a special showing at 12:01 so we can be guaranteed to be the first people to experience the movie.
Truth be told, midnight showings were a pretty geeky affair. I remember seeing Star Wars Episode III right after my first year of seminary. I went with some friends from church and one of them dressed up in his Jedi Halloween costume and I even attempted to put my hair in the Princess Leia buns (it didn't work, my hair isn't quite thick enough). I remember seeing Star Wars Episode II in college with a bunch of my college buddies. The whole theater started cheering when Yoda walked onto screen during the last big fight scene because we knew exactly what was coming.
The point being midnight showings used to attract a very specific brand of people: geeks. We had a ton invested in whatever movie it was that we were seeing. For movies like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Spider-Man we were deeply invested in the characters, we knew the mythology behind the stories, and this time was sacred. Even though we sometimes know what's coming, it still is fun to watch it unfold as the director and writers have interpreted it. It's fun to see our favorite stories and characters come to life.
However, as I've gone to more and more movie showings lately I've noticed that this is not the case anymore. When I went to Spider-Man 3 last year, people started laughing at the end of the movie during a particularly dramatic death scene. Granted, it wasn't the best scene ever but way to ruin the movie for the people around you. If people hadn't have been laughing, maybe I would have been able to feel some real emotion. Basically, way to ruin the moment for everyone else.
In May after classes had finished I went to see a midnight showing of Prince Caspian in the local theater. I was by myself which was fine. There were a ton of people there which surprised me but I figured I'd roll with it. I was a big fan of the books as it was and the author, CS Lewis, was one of my favorites. During the previews I couldn't help but noticing the two girls and one guy in front me of could not stop laughing and giggling and it was really loud and obnoxious. Granted, it was the preview for Beverly Hills Chihuahua which looks like the worst movie idea ever but still, shut it. Then came one of the most dramatic, intense scenes of the movie where the hero is being tempted by a very real evil and it's really symbolic of our temptations as humans and I think it's pretty deep. All of a sudden, they start laughing and giggling again. For no reason. And they won't stop. Are you effing kidding me? I decide that enough is enough and tap their seats with my foot, hoping it will get their attention. No luck. And they're still laughing. Finally, I just do a full out soccer kick to their chairs. They finally shut up and the scene is over. What?!?!
I can't even begin to tell you how mad I was that these people were ruining the movie for me and for the people around us. Somewhere in here, the midnight movie showing has died. It is no longer the thing that only geeks and movie lovers do. Suddenly, all the cool kids who have no interest in movies but are looking for an excuse to get out of the house late on a Thursday night have started coming to these. And honestly, it has started to truly ruin it for those of us who take our movies really, REALLY seriously. And you know, I think I would be fine with it if these people just didn't talk, laugh, and giggle through the entire movie.
Will I keep going to midnight showings? Most definitely, I can't help myself. But I reserve the right to judge the dedication of the other viewers and give a swift kick to the seat if someone won't stop talking/texting during important parts of the movie.
Truth be told, midnight showings were a pretty geeky affair. I remember seeing Star Wars Episode III right after my first year of seminary. I went with some friends from church and one of them dressed up in his Jedi Halloween costume and I even attempted to put my hair in the Princess Leia buns (it didn't work, my hair isn't quite thick enough). I remember seeing Star Wars Episode II in college with a bunch of my college buddies. The whole theater started cheering when Yoda walked onto screen during the last big fight scene because we knew exactly what was coming.
The point being midnight showings used to attract a very specific brand of people: geeks. We had a ton invested in whatever movie it was that we were seeing. For movies like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Spider-Man we were deeply invested in the characters, we knew the mythology behind the stories, and this time was sacred. Even though we sometimes know what's coming, it still is fun to watch it unfold as the director and writers have interpreted it. It's fun to see our favorite stories and characters come to life.
However, as I've gone to more and more movie showings lately I've noticed that this is not the case anymore. When I went to Spider-Man 3 last year, people started laughing at the end of the movie during a particularly dramatic death scene. Granted, it wasn't the best scene ever but way to ruin the movie for the people around you. If people hadn't have been laughing, maybe I would have been able to feel some real emotion. Basically, way to ruin the moment for everyone else.
In May after classes had finished I went to see a midnight showing of Prince Caspian in the local theater. I was by myself which was fine. There were a ton of people there which surprised me but I figured I'd roll with it. I was a big fan of the books as it was and the author, CS Lewis, was one of my favorites. During the previews I couldn't help but noticing the two girls and one guy in front me of could not stop laughing and giggling and it was really loud and obnoxious. Granted, it was the preview for Beverly Hills Chihuahua which looks like the worst movie idea ever but still, shut it. Then came one of the most dramatic, intense scenes of the movie where the hero is being tempted by a very real evil and it's really symbolic of our temptations as humans and I think it's pretty deep. All of a sudden, they start laughing and giggling again. For no reason. And they won't stop. Are you effing kidding me? I decide that enough is enough and tap their seats with my foot, hoping it will get their attention. No luck. And they're still laughing. Finally, I just do a full out soccer kick to their chairs. They finally shut up and the scene is over. What?!?!
I can't even begin to tell you how mad I was that these people were ruining the movie for me and for the people around us. Somewhere in here, the midnight movie showing has died. It is no longer the thing that only geeks and movie lovers do. Suddenly, all the cool kids who have no interest in movies but are looking for an excuse to get out of the house late on a Thursday night have started coming to these. And honestly, it has started to truly ruin it for those of us who take our movies really, REALLY seriously. And you know, I think I would be fine with it if these people just didn't talk, laugh, and giggle through the entire movie.
Will I keep going to midnight showings? Most definitely, I can't help myself. But I reserve the right to judge the dedication of the other viewers and give a swift kick to the seat if someone won't stop talking/texting during important parts of the movie.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
I <3 Baseball!!!
It's been awhile since I've talked about the MN Twins. Anyway, can I tell you real quick how much I'm loving this season of baseball. Everyone had written off the Twins at the beginning of the season and here we are, keeping up with the big boys and only 2.5 games behind the White Sox. Plus, the D-Rays are killing in the AL East (I love underdog/Cinderella stories).
One of the reasons I love the Twins: they can pull of plays like this!!!!!!!
One of the reasons I love the Twins: they can pull of plays like this!!!!!!!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
A Series of Unfortunate (and Humorous) Events
This past Father's Day weekend was a doozy. There's no other way of putting it. I had the wedding of two good friends in Fargo,ND and due to last minute housing plans, I decided to carpool with a friend and drive up and back to Fargo in the same day/night/early morning in order to save some cash because there were no cheap hotel rooms available in Fargo, go figure! It was a great time, the wedding was wonderful, and we made it back safe and sound... at around 4 a.m.
Fast forward to next day. I've gotten maybe 5.5 hours of sleep and have just spent the day with my family celebrating Father's Day and thus am dead tired. I'm finally heading back to my apartment, throw some junk in the back seat, and go to walk to the front seat of the car and realize that I'm stuck. What the... And then I realize that I have managed to slam my finger in the car door and not feel it. I quickly open the door, examine the finger, see that it's bleeding, and try to bend it (and it works so thankfully it's not broken). I figure that it's bleeding well enough that I don't want to drive home quite yet without gauze and some tape and call back up to my parents (they live in a condo), tell them quickly what happened, and request to be let in. I grab my purse, lock the car door, and start walking to the door.
Mind you, the pain of slamming my finger in the car door and leaving it in the uncomfortably position for more than five seconds has not hit yet. I also realize that I've managed to nick both sides of my finger so it's worse than I originally thought. I go and stand by the door and then it all hits at once. I can feel the blood rushing away from my head as a result of this and it's not good! Again, not broken but pretty close so it hurt like a, well, you know. Add in the lack of sleep and some probably dehydration and I start getting woozy and faint really quick. Thankfully there's a wall and I start sliding down the wall in time for my mom to come out and watch me almost pass out. I get my head between my legs, thankfully never lose my consciousness, and keep talking to my mom, who happens to be a nurse which means she's just a step or two under a doctor. And she worked in a hospital for ages so she's seen it all.
My dad gets down there too, the pain is still there but has subsided quite a bit, and I get up to the condo and get my finger under running water. It's cut pretty bad and I start conferring with my mom about whether or not I need stitches. It should be a pretty easy answer for the nurse practitioner but she starts sputtering and can't make up her mind. And then, get this, she tells me she's not feeling well and has to go and lay down, leaving me in the bathroom with my finger by myself. For heaven's sake, my mom is a nurse! So, my little sister who happens to be a nurse in training and my dad who absolutely no medical experience has to start taking care of me while me mom lays down in order to not pass out. Turns out I don't need stitches and I'm prescribed some antibacterial cream, gauze, tape, and then extensive icing.
I'm feeling fine again and get ready to drive home while my mom decides to call it an early night. In her defense, she started a new migraine medication which lowers her blood pressure and nearly watching her daughter faint was enough to drop it significantly.
But yeah, go figure. For the record, the finger is fine now although I'm pretty sure I nicked a nerve making part of the tip of my finger numb which is an odd feeling but I'm getting used to it. My mom informed me that feeling should come back. Until then, I guess I'll just have to be extra careful that I don't slam it in any more doors because this time I really won't be able to feel it.
Fast forward to next day. I've gotten maybe 5.5 hours of sleep and have just spent the day with my family celebrating Father's Day and thus am dead tired. I'm finally heading back to my apartment, throw some junk in the back seat, and go to walk to the front seat of the car and realize that I'm stuck. What the... And then I realize that I have managed to slam my finger in the car door and not feel it. I quickly open the door, examine the finger, see that it's bleeding, and try to bend it (and it works so thankfully it's not broken). I figure that it's bleeding well enough that I don't want to drive home quite yet without gauze and some tape and call back up to my parents (they live in a condo), tell them quickly what happened, and request to be let in. I grab my purse, lock the car door, and start walking to the door.
Mind you, the pain of slamming my finger in the car door and leaving it in the uncomfortably position for more than five seconds has not hit yet. I also realize that I've managed to nick both sides of my finger so it's worse than I originally thought. I go and stand by the door and then it all hits at once. I can feel the blood rushing away from my head as a result of this and it's not good! Again, not broken but pretty close so it hurt like a, well, you know. Add in the lack of sleep and some probably dehydration and I start getting woozy and faint really quick. Thankfully there's a wall and I start sliding down the wall in time for my mom to come out and watch me almost pass out. I get my head between my legs, thankfully never lose my consciousness, and keep talking to my mom, who happens to be a nurse which means she's just a step or two under a doctor. And she worked in a hospital for ages so she's seen it all.
My dad gets down there too, the pain is still there but has subsided quite a bit, and I get up to the condo and get my finger under running water. It's cut pretty bad and I start conferring with my mom about whether or not I need stitches. It should be a pretty easy answer for the nurse practitioner but she starts sputtering and can't make up her mind. And then, get this, she tells me she's not feeling well and has to go and lay down, leaving me in the bathroom with my finger by myself. For heaven's sake, my mom is a nurse! So, my little sister who happens to be a nurse in training and my dad who absolutely no medical experience has to start taking care of me while me mom lays down in order to not pass out. Turns out I don't need stitches and I'm prescribed some antibacterial cream, gauze, tape, and then extensive icing.
I'm feeling fine again and get ready to drive home while my mom decides to call it an early night. In her defense, she started a new migraine medication which lowers her blood pressure and nearly watching her daughter faint was enough to drop it significantly.
But yeah, go figure. For the record, the finger is fine now although I'm pretty sure I nicked a nerve making part of the tip of my finger numb which is an odd feeling but I'm getting used to it. My mom informed me that feeling should come back. Until then, I guess I'll just have to be extra careful that I don't slam it in any more doors because this time I really won't be able to feel it.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Ouch!
I'm avoiding writing a sermon right now and came across this video on ESPN.com. I'm pretty sure it's intentional too and agree with Rick Reilly on this. The catcher doesn't even look like he's trying. He goes down while the ball goes up. It's kind of sad that someone would actually do it but kind of funny too.
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